ilovecharts:

Every Song

benwarheit:

@BenWarheit on twitter

cyprian14:

Don’t bring a girl to the NBA finals, she’ll get bored.

This is beautiful.

(Source: davenewbold)

gunshowcomic:

what about any math homework?

IMPORTANT NEWS: i eated too much ice cweam ggrroooaannnnn *rolls around on the dirty floor for a half hour* bbllleeeeaaahhhhhhh

(Source: d-e-e-p-blue)

girlsareprettyforever:

1. Arrive late so everyone’s wondering if it was just too much for you. Not so late that they start without you, but late enough that the church is full enough for people to start talking.

2. What you wear is important. If you plan to make a big, shocking announcement about how you never loved…

“Don’t play with the moon roof.” Solid advice.

(Source: p1ll0w)

animalstalkinginallcaps:

OH, I’M SORRY, LARRY. I THOUGHT THE POINT OF GETTING A HOTEL WITH DELICIOUS BREAKFAST SERVICE, SOME HOT TUBS AND A NICE LITTLE POOL WAS TO USE THOSE AMENITIES TO INCREASE OUR ENJOYMENT SINCE THEY’RE INCLUDED IN THE RENTAL PRICE. FUN DOESN’T COST EXTRA. I DIDN’T REALIZE CHECKING YOUR EMAIL 200 TIMES WAS YOUR IDEA OF A GOOD VACATION OR I’D HAVE JUST BOOKED US A TABLE AT THE COFFEESHOP BY OUR HOUSE.

I’M SERIOUS. STOP TEXTING AND FROLIC WITH ME BEFORE I STRANGLE YOU.